Helaman 14:30-31

I have heard and said these words many times..."Be an example."  "Help those around you."  "Serve others."

All of these things are wonderful pieces of advice, but I have noticed even wonderful things can become distorted if I take them too far.  You see, I can sometimes have an over-reaching sense of responsibility towards others.  I can take these nice phrases into my heart and suddenly I am responsible for the spiritual welfare of those around me.  My family, my visiting teaching sisters, and my neighbors begin to weigh heavy on my mind.  I think of how Lehi longed to share the precious white fruit of his vision with his family, and I can see that for me it feels more like I need to carry my whole family on my back and lug them along the straight and narrow path because anything less would be a lapse in my duty as a wife and mother.  After all, I am responsible for the spiritual tone in my home, so I must also be responsible for any and all sin that might happen within its walls and probably even outside its walls if it has to with those over whom I have been given stewardship.  I know that this is not correct.

I know that lugging someone along the straight and narrow path isn't possible.  I know that in Heavenly Father's plan we must all chose whether to hold to the rod and seek for the fruit waiting for us.  Or another way of saying it--if I could borrow from a biblical parable--is we cannot give the oil in our lamp to those who may not have filled their lamps sufficiently full.  It just cannot be done because we are all free.  Free to choose for ourselves.

I know that my desire to "help" others along can turn into issues with control.  I know some people in my life might think that I am too controlling, but it is odd to me how very much I don't wish to be that way.  I am truly trying to do that which has been asked of me.  My natural way of looking at the world is more of a "live and let live" philosophy, but that feels too uncaring when I think of gospel teachings.  So...I have been working on my perspective of things and Helaman 14:30-31 has a little reminder for me when it says:

"And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free.  He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil, and have that which is evil restored unto you."

I also have been thinking a lot about the difference between 'not making stellar choices' and 'committing actual sin.'  As I have paid more attention to this, I have been able file a lot of things in the former category.  I know we cannot make everyone happy with us all the time.  I know that nobody is perfect.  I am grateful that we all have the Atonement and ability to repent.  I know that keeping all of this in mind will enable me to more lovingly help those around me, teach with the Spirit and by example, and serve others while allowing them to choose for themselves.  I know that the feeling of responsibility will no longer be crushing as I put things in their proper perspective, and I will find more peace and joy in my life.