I don't think they are meant to be separated out and so it has been bothering me that my brain has continued to categorize things I do as either "I'm doing this because someone in the Church leadership told me to" or "I'm doing this because it is real gospel doctrine." I really don't feel like that is right. I had never done it before. And so I began to feel like I was missing something, or rather, that I had lost something that I once had. Was it faith? I would mentally check up on my testimony...No, faith wasn't my issue. So what was it that was making me feel this way?
The answer is: I don't know. But I know that as I was reading the Book of Mormon the other day, I read something that has helped quiet those thoughts. It was Alma 25:16.
There is some lead up that needs to be done before delving into this scripture...The Lamanites have continued to convert with more of them burying their weapons and joining the people of Ammon. Alma 25:15 talks about how they kept the Law of Moses even though they knew that Christ would be coming and that law would eventually pass away. They kept it because the law hadn't passed away yet, but they didn't just keep it with mindless obedience. They kept it "considering that the law of Moses was a type of [Christ's] coming, and believing that they must keep those outward performances until the time that he should be revealed unto them."
Alma 25:16 goes on to say:
"Now they did not suppose that salvation came by the law of Moses; but the law of Moses did serve to strengthen their faith in Christ; and thus they did retain a hope through faith, unto eternal salvation, relying upon the spirit of prophecy, which spake of those things to come."So my version would go something like this: Now she did not suppose that salvation came by the weekly meetings she attended, her official visiting teaching percentage, how ready her home was to receive visitors, or by how well her children behaved but that doing these things, or at least striving to do these things, did serve to strengthen her faith in Christ; and thus she did retain a hope through faith, unto eternal salvation, relying upon the spirit.
Hi Ambra, are you me? Walking around in another body? I have struggled much lately with this same dichotomy. I am trying to reconcile some things in my mind, and at times I wonder if I can ever go back to the place I was before when everything was more simple. In the last lesson I taught, there was one line that brought me some peace on this subject as well. Elder Ballard says, "The Lord uses this Church as a tool in pulling His children throughout the world toward the protection of His gospel." There is a difference between the
ReplyDeletechurch, and the gospel. The gospel is pure and unadulterated. The church is just a tool. It is the Lord's tool, but it is not the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ in it's fulness is contained in the scriptures. The church is a structure which we build our lives and families around....I've heard it called a scaffolding. We can get higher because of it. I haven't worked through all of the questions I have about this, but I am finally coming to a place where the differences between the two are meaningful and helpful for me to understand. Thanks for "talking out loud". It's nice to know someone else out there is thinking of the same things, and that I'm not so alone.
I so appreciate your comment. I would love to talk about this further with you. I have been thinking for days now about calling you. I hope we can talk sometime soon.
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